My energetic 16 month old rarely sits still for more than a moment. She is in constant motion. Even as she sits and watchs Elmo in Gouchland she is interacting with the movie. Here she is waving and saying "helwo" or Bye Bye.
So while I write this blog for myself my original plan was to try to find some new folks out there to connect with. But I realized today that I don't tell anyone about this blog, including my husband. And I certainly haven't posted it any place like Twitter or Facebook so who the heck is going to read it. I find myself too busy to read through many blogs these days.
So why even have the blog public when I could just post it privately someplace else?
Honestly I'm not sure.
It's day 4 of 14 of my ban of diet soda. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it.
I am massively disappointed in the jewelry supply company I ordered some goods from. They shipped me the wrong item and I have yet to receive the correct one. It's holding up my entire custom piece. If I don't get it by tomorrow I may have to look for another place to order from. If they make it right and I have the weekend to work on it then I will give them another chance. They have no idea how much money they stand to lose if they don't take care of me...seriously.
Later Lovebugs...tomorrow I will post about my trip with Ambien.
I read an article that said a good blog should take an hour or more to compose. There was a lot more to the article but that is what my eyes were drawn to.
An hour to blog...Oh I remember the days. Before a baby, 30 minute commute to work, a house to clean up, and trying to launch a small business. Now if I wanted to blog for an hour it would have to take away from one of those things or my husband and/or sleep.
For the record I miss the old days of blogging. Now it seems as though there is so much fluff AKA bullshit to every story posted I don't know what to believe. I pass over a lot of blogs because of this. There are only a handful I truly enjoy, some fluff and all.
On Day 38 of 365 it is Day 2 of 14 for my Diet Soda experiment. I am giving up soda for two weeks to see if I lose any weight. My husband lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks just giving up the bubbly diet goodness. I think he is mistaken and I won't lose weight. But it is a win win. If I lose weight that's great and if I don't I get to prove the hubby wrong. I am 3 pounds away from my first diet without really dieting goal. The second goal is a modest 5 pounds but I knew if I added it to goal one I would lose focus.
My first jewelry supply order came in missing one of the most important pieces. Argh. I emailed customer service and still no reply. I am waiting for this one piece to work on the custom necklace I am making. I really don't want to burn this bridge since they have a lot of stuff I want to order but I really want my beads! If I don't get the item by this weekend I will have to find it locally.
Bart - you are an amazing husband and father. Watching you play and care for Nina is one of the most incredible things I could ever hope to see. You are such a great Daddy and it shows.
When you come into a room Nina gets so excited she can not contain herself. She claps and bounces around and squeals with happiness. I've never seen someone love someone so much and be so excited that they are with them.
You have no idea how happy that makes my heart.
Our journey together has not always been easy but I am so glad we are taking it together. There is no one else I would rather have by my side.
My baby girl turned 16 months yesterday. She is growing up so quickly. I can't imagine a life without her. Watching her grow and learn is one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. Exhausting yes, but amazing and worth every moment of insanity.
Currently working on a custom necklace...supplies ordered and just waiting for them so I can actually make it. Sold one other piece and I already spent the money from that necklace to make a new one. I am super excited about it but I may have a hard time parting with it if it comes out as I have it envisioned. There is one more thing I need to order since I can't get it locally.
The last two days, well going on three now, I've felt pretty miserable. Headache, heart palpitations and a backache. Not to mention the lovely other stuff that goes along with my palpitation. I need to try the new doctor but it is one of those things I keep putting off. I don't like going to the doctor and the thought of doing all the tests over again makes me keep avoiding it.
My heart hurts. My eyes sting. I miss you so very much.
I want to see your face again, in person, not in a photograph or from memory. I want to hear your voice. Oh how I long to hear you tell one of your silly jokes. I want to hear you say Yorkie Yorkie when you saw Bennie. I want to hug you and kiss your cheek. I want to be hugged by you. I want a kiss hello from you. I want to feel your hand in mine. I want to see your imperfect, perfect smile. I want to stay on the phone with you just ten minutes longer. I want to sit at the kitchen table with you for just a few more moments.
I wish you could have been there when I got married. I wish you could have held Nina in your arms when she was just born. I wish we could load up the car tomorrow and visit you at the house.
I miss you so much Pop Pop.
I need to hear your voice. And I can't. As hard as I try I can not replay one of the hundreds of things I remember you saying in my head.
These days I am exhausted both mentally and emotionally. I feel like I have nothing left to give. I wish that I felt differently but the truth is I just don't. I feel like every day is a struggle and the results are just more of the same.
I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of wanting things to be one way but it just not being obtainable for our family at this time.
Sigh. I have so much to be thankful for. But it is so darn easy to lose sight of what is important and just feel like curling up in a ball and throwing the covers over my head.
My project is about ready to put out there. With working on that I haven't had time to learn much with the new camera, nor have I been able to spend much time looking for new Mommy blogs to read. Hopefully it will pay off. If not at least I was able to learn something new.
So on this warm Sunday morning the baby is still sleeping after not sleeping well at night and SHOCKER I am awake when I could still be asleep. Sigh.
Bart and I have lived together since 2004. It took me nearly that long to realize that when cleaning the house there is nothing as good as the basics, a can of Comet, Windex, mop and sponge...stuff like that.
I've tried a ton of "short cut" products and the one that really woke me up was the Swiffer Wetjet floor mop. I had used the products since we moved into the house in 2008and it seemed to get things clean. I ran out of cleaner for it so I decided to use my good old fashion mop and Ajax floor cleaner. The results were shocking, you should have seen the water. After I picked my jaw up off of the floor it proceeded to fall down again when I walked on the dry floor. It felt different. Clean.
I was amazed at the difference. And also more than a little grossed out.
So when all of the cleaning stuff I currently have is finished I am not replacing it with any trendy new stuff. My $.97 can of cleaner does as good of a job in the bathroom than anything else I've tried. In fact I think it makes my toilet even cleaner.
I do however like the disinfecting cleaning wipes for small messes and in between weekly cleaning.
Whatever funk the Bub had seems to have gotten out of her system quickly. She seems fine today, thank God. I hate when she is sick.
Bart and I are considering putting Nina in daycare one day a week. I think that it will be good for both of us. It will give me a break from her while I am at work and she will be able to interact with other children, one being her cousin (huge bonus!).
I feel guilty spending $45 a day on daycare when I don't need to. But honestly somedays at work are brutal. And in my heart I think if she was able to play with other kids it would be really good for her.
I need to email her back so that we can take a look at the place and make a decision.