Tuesday, October 5, 2010

But I don't WANNA

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with a cardiologist. I really don't want to go. I know I need to go but if you were to hear what it sounds/looks like in my head it would sound an awful lot like the temper tantrum my 19 month old daughter had today. Only with me stamping my feet and my fists clenched.

I've had problems since May of last year. After blood tests, Echocardiogram and brain MRI I was told there was nothing wrong. So I just accepted that I was going to feel terrible on a near daily basis. The heart palpitations were like none I ever had before, I thought I was going to die. I get extremely hot and my heart pounds like it is trying to get out of my chest. Then this past August it was getting worse, to the point I was getting afraid to drive because I was nervous I would have an episode while behind the wheel. The last straw was when I was getting ready to help with dinner and I nearly passed out in the kitchen.

It took a month to get this appointment. I hate doctors. I just do. And there is nothing I can do to make myself feel better.

I really hope this doctor senses my nerves and is kind and friendly. I also hope he can figure out what the heck is wrong with me. I'm tired of feeling sick so often.

Fingers crossed and praying that we find answers and it is something that can be fixed easily.

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